A Savage Attack

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30 Jan 2008 10:11 am

Sexual dissatisfaction and boredom are frequently cited by divorcing couples as a factors in their decision to split up. If we wish to stem the tide of divorce, Mr. Sullivan, we should not promote the idea that life presents us with an either/or choice between wedding bands and leather outfits in appallingly bad taste. We should make singles and couples, gay and straight, aware that they can have their commitments and their sexual adventures too.

I take the point. And I almost made it. My first draft for the post - if you can believe I actually make drafts of posts - had an extra sentence:

Of course, there's no reason a leather queen shouldn't get married either.

And that's how I feel. So we agree - almost. Why did I delete the extra qualification? I guess what I was driving at in commenting on that image is that it represented some kind of collective cultural conflict, as much as a personal one. And while we'd like the conflict to be totally absent, it isn't. It's not either/or. But it isn't totally both/and either, is it? There is something about the most overt sexuality that isn't easily integrated into marriage in our culture. Maybe we need to adjust that, as Dan suggests. And maybe it isn't quite that easy, as my deletion implies.

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