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04 Feb 2008 10:04 am

A Handbag

An audience member at the London play Equus remarks upon the nudity of Alfie Allen:

His penis acquitted itself well in the circumstances, not embarrassing its owner or the audience with any notice-me antics. Though the actors emitted a certain amount of noise (as is their scripted wont), and shifted about the stage to maintain a sense of momentum, his penis was the star of the show as mute eye candy, just hanging there - sometimes dancing about in livelier moments - as penises do. From a dramatic perspective, his penis is rather like Lady Bracknell's handbag - an inanimate MacGuffin - though in this instance, seen but not talked about, whereas the handbag is unseen but much talked about.

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