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The Father Of A Transgender 10 Year Old
13 May 2008 02:27 pm
A reader writes:
My ten year old son has shown clear and undeniable signs of transgenderism since before he was four. His favorite musicians are all girls (Hannah Montana, Hillary Duff, etc.), all his friends are girls, he enjoys dressing in girls' clothing--often sneaking into his mother's closet, and he is presently obsessed with the "fairy" kid-lit of Daisy Meadows.
I cannot tell you how much conflict lies within me as to how to "deal" with my son. At church and in society, we get the very clear message that anything akin to transgenderism or homosexuality is a moral choice and is deeply wrong.
And yet, I bristle against this.
I view any attempts to "reprogram" my son as only begetting future years of repression, sorrow, therapy, and in-the-closet-angst. And yet, I cannot also allow my son to go to school dressed as a girl (which would truly thrill him, I'm sure). I worry that he would be subject to ridicule and physical violence from his peers. I worry that his teachers might treat him unfairly. I worry about the shower of hell that would rain down upon us from my mostly-conservative family. I worry about things that I cannot even imagine right now.
So for now, we just "let it be." We don't try to force him to play with certain "boy" toys. We don't try to censor his music choices, nor control his friendships. We let him be.
And for now, he seems healthy, happy, and thriving. I believe, as he gets older, he will have the maturity to become whomever he wishes. For now, our job must be to guide him in truly moral matters (like stealing, lying, cheating, doing the right thing, etc.), and shower him with love, acceptance and affection.
And I pray that we're doing the right thing.
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