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05 May 2008 07:23 pm

The Growing Gay Diaspora, Ctd

A reader writes:

I'm 30 years old, from rural Ohio, and met my German boyfriend in Boston 8 years ago.

We moved to Berlin together when his visa expired, where we lived for 5 years and eventually got married (okay, "entered into a civil union" is more accurate, if not as eloquent).  We work online, which affords us a lot of freedom, and have lived in Ireland and now Spain. Thanks to the "Freedom of Movement" policy, I can legally reside anywhere in the EU, because Juergen and I are married.  But, I can't move home.

An American and a German can legally reside in Ireland, Spain and Slovenia, but not America.  When I think about it like that, I want to punch a wall.

Trying to explain our situation to my American friends inevitably results in confusion and disbelief.  People are truly unaware of the situation gay, bi-national pairs have to deal with.  "You could get married in Massachusetts!"  Um, no. "You could get Juergen a work visa!"  Not likely. "He could marry a woman, and then you guys just, like, live together anyway!" Seriously, a suggestion I've heard more than once.

It's not that people don't understand our situation -- but that they don't even know it. And, honestly, the chances that we ever move back to the States are getting more and more remote with each year.

Thanks for continuing to expose this problem...

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