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25 Nov 2008 11:57 am
Butch, Straight Bears
Fake ones, of course. Introducing the metrognome:
The metrognome comes in several forms. There is the archetypal Pacific
Northwestern/Western metrognome, of course, attired in flannels and
beard year-round. The metrognome was originally identified, in fact,
in San Francisco. The southern metrognome has been known to evoke the
Civil War. Then there is the seasonal metrognome, who comes out only
when the weather grows cold. This varietal wears a beard, yes, but his
clothing also becomes considerably more rugged than is his wont, or
than is necessary in an urban environment. The metrognome is not to be
confused with the Bear, who is characterized by a certain natural
burly hirsuteness. The metrognome transformation, by contrast, is
completely inorganic and owes nothing to actual appearance. As "metro"
implies, there is an element of deliberate grooming and styling
involved.
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